5 Ways to Strengthen Your Self Love Skills

Self love is a skill. Just like any other skill, it requires intentional practice to cultivate and strengthen. Unfortunately, us humans are really good at being hard on ourselves – negative self talk just seems to come so easily! We become conditioned to focus on the negative, to protect ourselves, to compete for resources, to hide vulnerability, to be critical of our own behavior for the sake of survival. We are meant to believe that it is “selfish” to put ourselves first, to set boundaries, to rest. Ultimately, that could not be further from the truth.

Loving yourself, prioritizing yourself, and showing yourself compassion allows you to show up better for yourself and for others around you.

It is true what they say: you can’t pour from an empty cup; you have to put your oxygen mask on first; you cannot truly love anybody until you truly love yourself.

Our relationship with ourselves serves as the basis for our relationship with everyone and everything around us. Compassion, empathy, and connection requires us to see ourselves in others. The most triggering behaviors in others are usually the behaviors we recognize, and are ashamed of, within ourselves. But what about the other side of that coin? What if we can learn to recognize the love we have for others as a reflection of the love we are capable of receiving and experiencing ourselves? Now, that would really be something special!

Here are 5 ways to flex those self love muscles and strengthen your most important relationship: the one you have with yourself.

Be Someone Who Loves

Going from a dark place filled with negative self talk to a place of genuine, loving self-acceptance is quite the leap. Trying to execute a complete 180 on a dime isn’t easy nor realistic.

Instead, get “in the mood” by simply being somebody who loves and is loving. Think about what you love about your friends or your significant other or your family. What do you love about the coffee shop you visit everyday? About your home? This primes you for more positive emotions, helping to tune your body and mind to the frequency of love.

Be Someone Who is Loved

When you feel like you really messed up or when things aren’t going well and you feel like it’s all your fault try to think about what your best friend, or anybody who shows you incredible support in your life, would say to you.

This simple practice reminds you that you are worthy of love and that love already exists in your life regardless of whatever mistake you may have made. This allows us to get a little further past those mental blocks that are obstructing our path to true self love.

Do Things That Are Good For You

Seems like a no-brainer, but hear me out. This is more about listening to your body than it is listening to your favorite wellness influencer.

Example: exercise is “good for you”, but try not to define exercise so narrowly. If you don’t feel like you have the energy for a run or HIIT session, honor that. Be gentle with yourself and enjoy a walk or take some time to stretch instead. Most importantly: don’t feel guilty. Recognize and fully accept that you are doing something good for your body. Your body will thank you for it, and this will create a positive feedback loop of good feels.

Get Some Sleep

Plain and simple.

Slacking on sleep is the fast track to feeling like sh*t about yourself. Prioritize yourself and your rest. The more you prioritize yourself, the more you are letting it be known to your body, to your mind, and to those around you that you are deserving and worthy of love, grace, and compassion.

Create Rituals

This is another way of prioritizing yourself and establishing your importance and worthiness. Set aside time for yourself each morning to say some positive affirmations, meditate, or list 3 things you’re grateful for.

Not only do these qualify as ‘good for you’ tasks they also serve to establish your peace as a priority.